i love you

2008-11-17T07:37:00.001-08:00

www.hellolostsheep.livejournal.com

2008-11-13T09:02:00.000-08:00

O's are over, i should be like YAY YAY YAY IT'S OVER and whatev, but i don't feel like it right now D: i should close this and get an lj anyhow.

UGH anyway today was rly good i guess, the start of my post O's period :D teehee okay thinking about stuff to do makes me real happy :D

anyway i'm thinking Ugh things will stay the same and everything, i am not making any headway at all i should give up. but i just wanted this time to be different? well i guess not huh

2008-11-05T05:25:00.000-08:00

I DON'T UNDERSTAND FOR THE LIFE OF ME WHY GG WON'T LOAD IT'S BEEN AN HOUR OMGZZ

&&& i feel ..stupid.

2008-11-02T08:38:00.000-08:00

hello i've got a new name it's Chitch and i will go surfing with Milo and Santu (hahahaha sounds like shit but whatever)

got ss tmr and i still went to play tennis on saturday but yayz quite fun and amusing :D i kind of like these tennis saturdays i just wish i could hit properly hahaha. it was Fat saturday too because i went to powsing and thai express but whatever i like :D

i didn't do anything for halloween just my cousin's brithday thing but still. i hope halloween's funner next year. i've never been treat or treating but we were saying we could've been msnd characters for halloween, how bout that manz. :D

julia said, this week we go sentosa k! but ha ha no cannot D: i hope time passes soon. &i went for yd today. kind of miss it.

i should change my laugh. i sound like, huh huh huh huh huh instead of the usual ha ha ha ha ha ohno :0 but whatever, my laugh is cool like That okay B)

2008-10-12T06:40:00.000-07:00

so i was thinking, maybe i don't believe in anything much anymore.
maybe you've been completely fucked over, you just didn't know it.

i realise that you know, only one thing's certain, and one thing never changes. and that's the one thing i've been neglecting, and maybe even ignoring.
but you know, that's going to change.
because when you get right down to the heart of the matter, nobody cares, really. so it's just, stupid or something, to delude yourself into thinking that people really understand and care about you. they can empatize or sympathise i'm sure, but pls don't tell me they actually seriously give a damn, because, they don't.

do you know who your friends are, at the end of they day?

can you be so sure they'd be there. i used to be so sure, but, i really don't know now. and i think, i don't care, as long as i have Jesus yup, and i know that as long as i have Him, it's fine. He's the only thing that's certain in my life, and i guess, He's the only one who'll be there at the very end of the day.

anyway, saturday was rly good, and just what i needed, really. :D
maybe we'll just all end up in ac, huh. i wouldn't mind that:)

we took many many coolz pictures today, :D :D (tried to be artistic) but i do not see juni online :( anyway i keep wearing the same shirt in pictures i didnt even realise :0

today shermaine told me, your birthday is coming! i was like, oh yeah it is!
but honestly? i actually, don't give a damn anymore.

i'm sick of trying, just so you know. just let it all be OVER. pls.

it doesn't take a whole long life to realise that what we deserve to have, we rarely get. i stand up, with that lightning bolt branding the lining of my throat, which makes it impossible to swallow, so everything gets back up like a damned river. and then i lift my fist and punch a hole in the thick white wall and still this isn't enough.

and i like this! haha

now is the summer of my discontent. says:
then i woke up, and then reality hit me like a truck and a notti squirrel in the middle of the road

notti squirrel? :0 what the heck haha
don't laugh high school is so amusing i think i might get abs from laughing. (well, no not rly. but you know what i mean.)

2008-10-01T08:22:00.000-07:00

prelims were fine, but they weren't as fine as i'd like them to be. C5 for physics is like awful k. i need to rly get down to it and Study, except it's not as easy as it sounds. i can't bring myself to study harder anymore it's like i've lost my motivation?

actually, i don't even know why i'm studying so hard. getting into a good JC doesn't rly mean you'll do well in life or whatev, does it.
i think i'm losing myself in all this anyway, mourning the horrible grades and studying like there's not tomorrow. life should be more than this i'm sure?

but anyway life's still pretty good. i wouldn't rly change what i have right now even with all the schoolshit.

2008-09-10T07:05:00.000-07:00

now, Normal is studying after school + notes on hand during lunch + glancing at notes before i sleep + queuing in front of the library at 955 on saturday + running up the library stairs to get the stupid window seats.

time's crawling by so slowly i swear this week's been the longest of my life. (it's, wednesday?)

today's chem paper was such a disaster, enough of one to make me want to bury my head in the sand and pretend today never happened. i have, never, taken, such, a, horrible, paper, in, my life, DAMN. i made up my own macromolecules today. i made up my own cheng yus in chinese and goodness knows what else. i'll be making up my own language next, says melo. ha, ha,

my prelims are, officially screwed. i should be thinking about Whalerider and the Chosen One and Hermia and Lysander not typing this/ plskillmenow

(&The Bet, i'm going to lose)

i want it to be over so i can have blue hair and no worries omgzzzzz can time just hurry up pass

2008-08-31T09:48:00.000-07:00

today i talked about outreach with megan. it's really hard and i haven't brought anyone who's stayed yet. i don't even have that much courage to stand up to the extended family when they talk about church&me, like that. i guess i still have alot to learn :/

today my mom showed me this christmas card i gave my grandma when i was nine, &i was kind of sad because she doesn't even know my name now, but anyway it made me kind of happy because haha idk i thought it was kind of cute

okay i'm so lousy no pictures but it's 1am and i rly don't feel like making an Effort to do anything. making an Effort, you'd think things would actually go alright, but ha ha you know what it doesnt work that way after all

so you try, and try, and try, and then what?

anyway, i'm going to try harder and hope my brain doesnt fail me anymore
how many more weeks left, i will not, let, myself, screw, this, up.

2008-08-22T07:07:00.000-07:00

(who cares if it's upside down)

today is Happy Day and i am Happy Girl.

haato + frolick + phina + NO MORE TESTS + friday + CCA points make for a Happy Charmaine.

2008-08-19T06:35:00.000-07:00

hello, i don't think i've been this disappointed really. now i feel like, i don't know, stupid or something? don't really know how to put it, but i'm going to strike myself off your list before you do that and move on to the next one.

i feel fucked up, thinking about all the time, i mean 1 msg=2minutes, must've sent you a million already.

2008-08-15T07:25:00.000-07:00

candice was back:

i just heard them on the radio avril is coming to town &she was totally totally totally my hero when i was in p6 k. I, WANT, TO, GO, SEE, HER.

TUS icecream party today minus the icecream because the icecream machine screwed up. but there are many many days ahead to have icecream parties anyway:D

i'm glad today's friday even if it doesn't feel like it. tmr = studystudystudybio.

we went to have a look at the NP peeps teehee it was fun:D

i wrote the longest longest really really long letter on thursday night. three foolscaps like the entire page k, i took an hour plus to write it. with appalling handwriting. but still:D i'm, proud of myself aren't you, it wasn't all gibberish, i wrote things with substance k

prelims are HERE, what am i doing here when i should be studying? why am i reading the Time Traveler's Wife when i should be studying? why am i watching Federer screw up and not getting into lousy Semi-finals when i should be studying? (UGH I CAN'T BELIEVE IT HE REALLY SCREWED UP K)

i keep telling myself it's good and fine, i think it's really not but i still can't bring myself to study someone kill me pls. my wonderful plans of fooling myself into waking up at 5 (not 4 it's too damned early) aren't working they're backfiring haha even getting xishi to call me is useless :/

ohwellll

(idon'thavenomorepicturesbecausepeoplesomehowdon'tsendthemtome)

i feel like icecream. i really really do. idk when we'll go t novena to eat/study/eat. phina makes me feel like eating alot because she doesn't mind eating alot either. and then we go for runs to make ourselves feel better. it's such a healthy way to live, no? :0

it's FRIDAY BE HAPPY, Y'ALL :D

2008-08-07T08:04:00.000-07:00

that was sunday. SBPP/CUTE day 0308.
&TUS day too. we got priya/praveena to take pictures of us, waving knives and butter andpeices of bread arnd senselessly. (&me, dropping the bread! but it was really very funny)

(i like cartel bread!)

My blood bleeds red
For all those thoughts you left unsaid
Well how could you let your guard down
And let me impose
We’re dying the further this thing goes

Cause it was easiest to hide it all away
And never say what we were thinking
No you’d never catch me blinking that night
Cause I was all of yours

Let me say one more thing before you fly
And this charade is out of sight
I’ve been wrong but now I’m right
So let your precious sky come down on you tonight

Well I thought this would all blow by
And everything would just turn out alright
And this would all be fine

2008-08-02T07:59:00.001-07:00

HELLO PEEPS

the only reason why i came online was to see if China Buddy replied my email. she hasn't, maybe she doesn't really know english afterall :/ or she decided i was too greedy since the picture i sent her was of me eating :0

anywayyy i met up with rach/el/can for dinner tnight and it was rather fun (: even though everywhere was scarily crowded and we ended up at ps cafe eating 20-dollar sandwiches that weren't even good. but still (:

i am rather happy these days. (: holland v = cold rock + nydc + sbpp &her black cats + my favourite shop with the scary irritant of a shopkeeper. :D yay yay yay
And then maybe i can go buy the two cats ohmygosh there were these two ugly cats in this dinky petshop and i swear they like me, like alot.And i'll go buy them eventhough they're ugly like hell.

ha. ha. sancia's so amusing when she isn't trying to be. (:

somebody please tell me why i'm not studying as hard as i'm supposed to be. the marks are going down down down, the motivation's nowhere to be found and i hope things get better.

tmr is our Day. the Cute/SBPP Day, 0308.

ohyes i should make days with special people. then i can have a day with them all to myslf every year:D

i do not like talking about some things. especially when it's all about to change, and all. sometimes, i would like to run away from myself, &the thoughts in my head.
i don't even know what's thought of me &sometimes i think i should just step back and forget.

well, how about that?

2008-07-26T08:24:00.001-07:00

our RHINO, the day sancia demonstrated her million dollar bark :0

cass is always telling me that i don't ever update this thing. (since she spends half her life updating hers) but yeah. idk, waking up at 4am and sleeping at like, 10am is really making me rather wonky up there sometimes. but i still think that if i can keep it up i totally will.

things have been, rather good i guess? no horrible emo-ish stressed-ish nights lately. i went t catch the Dark Knight on thursday with melo and it was gooood :D

we now have real cool recesses, have our silly beachball reviews and playing mindless games

Ultimate Climate thing today, we baked brownies at my place. rather hilarious, the way things turned out. but still, quite cool la huh, the process :D i got to talk to JUNI after many many weeks of not seeing her. :D :D :D i've missed her too :/

candice is back from DC, teehee i'm seeing her tmr. doesn't feel like a year since i last saw her, but it totally is. yay i'm really quite happy she's back, bec when she came back last year it was really quite, fun :D

k i'm quite happy that i'm busy and all. because, it takes your mind off things that you're not supposed to think about.

yup. :)

how close, is close enough?

2008-07-15T08:18:00.000-07:00

POP08 :D

NCOs :D (thank God i won't be getting anymore msges from pan about cleaning the nproom)

happy sweet sixteen, megan :D ilaughmeganalot!

POP's over, doesn't feel like it actually, but it was really pretty good fun

haunted house was vvv scary, until i broke my necklace and didn't care about being scared anymore, because all i wanted to do was to get the lights on and FIX MY NECKLACE >:(

haha buttt, it was not bad. i won't forget my power sqd :D

(and the things we did. omgzz)

it feels so weird to be online, esp when KIMXS isn't online :/ it makes me feel rather guilty haha

2008-07-08T05:41:00.000-07:00

last saturday, yf anniversary

how i spent my saturday. looking for cool yellow things that only exist in my dreams, we got rather stressed and desperate for yellow things after buying nonsense.
but i like my dress (AND the cupcake sweater) teehee even if it ain't yellow

went t sbpp's on youth day(tus minus kimxs D: ) and it was f-unny and c-homp c-homp was really good.
though yknow, the aunties and uncles gave me the evil eye for taking their chairs/ more tissue/ the fan blowing my plate onto their clean white blouses. whoops :/

this is my best weekend since forever, even though i was all mood swing-ish and rather stressed. k more like very stressed. but i'm taking things in my stride. and (hopefully) managing my time well.

&not thinking of anything other than what's best for me right now.
i think, i know what's best for me.

stranger, you and i

2008-07-03T07:40:00.000-07:00

saw the TUS today &like tuesday.

it was F-un and B(e)-itchy but i got whacked in the arm by a floorball stick today so i can'texactly touch my arm hoho.

the 2grace blog is still alive and running HA HA it was hilarious. :D after 2years and we still can't get over our happenings at 2grace, or smth.

like, the time Lijie opened the umbrella because the sun was shining into the classroom.

http://www.grace-sensation.blogspot.com/

talking t SA tonight was, good. ;D

though now, i don't know what to feel. not really.

i'm excited for POP. really very, very excited. :D

the night becomes the space that's somewhere in between

what i feel and what i'm told

sitting on the shoreline trying to figure it out, figure it out

to find out the meaning

and reach it somehow

the season has changed

the wind, it blows colder now, colder now

the clouds are raised,

the rain it falls harder now,

all around

2008-06-28T23:17:00.000-07:00

teehee we have like, an Identical Issue.

I'm tired

Cynical and broken, but wiser

Heavy with a sense of resentment,

but i used to be so much different,

I used to have so much faith

The focus on the friends and the feelings

That made those stupid songs all worth singing

And don't you say a word

unless you're pretty sure that you want it analyzed

and I realized in time

that it didn't mean anything

Never,

not ever again

Not like that

"It's only a matter of time".

i wonder what it would be like, if i just threw away this life i'm leading right now,

i think i'd feel so much better about myself, and not regret wasting my saturdays on things that Don't Matter One Bit.

today i asked myself, why the hell am i putting myself through this, when it's so tiring and ever so pretentious, i'm still trying to get over the incredulity of it all. &, the irony.

i can't change anybody, or anything. i can only make it better for myself, (&what is it to anybody what i'm doing with my life, anyway.)

and, i will. it's only a matter of time.

time to let go, and i doubt there'll be anything left to say. how can you be afraid of losing something you're not sure even existed?

what's wrong, and what's right?

i don't even know anymore. what's it like, to get wasted and high every night, only to say you're sorry and ask for forgiveness after you've had your fun?

this sounds so, shallow, i know, and even as you(like, whoever you are, idk) read this i'm sure you're making your own judgements and so let me ask you, what makes you think you're so right about things and what makes you so sure you're better, or more righteous, than the rest?

i wonder why i was trying so hard, and why i'm still figuring out if i'm sick of trying yet.

i wonder why you're trying so hard, what are you trying to prove?

2008-06-25T08:31:00.001-07:00

i'm really sick and tired.

no, like, really literally very very tired. i hope i don't wake up with no voice tmr, and maybe i'll be sick enough to skip PE. (i don't like floorball very much!) i think it's because i've ben sleeping at 2am and there were germs in the air (but it's totally not shirley's fault she's sick, and she's really really strong, can do all the tests even though she sounds all sexy and sniffy and sneeze-ish)

i've screwed up my work, and it's bloody torture trying to study for test after test after test.
after tday no more for the rest of the week :D
anyway today was really very funny and laugh-ish, cause it was like TUS after lessons. but i got attacked by evil pink/yellow/green markers D: and,

are you staying tmr?
(insert goldfish impersonation)
ha. ha.

i want to, go to Holland v.
&go to ikea for the cool food :D
&sleep in for once in my entire life.

&I remembered something else that made us human: faith, the only weapon in our arsenal to battle doubt

2008-06-18T08:32:00.000-07:00

catherine&joanna :D
they make the time stuck at tuition a little bit more bearable (:
lunch was real good :D &like quite funny.

holidays are almost over, it's crazy i haven't been able to sleep in one bit :( tuition's at ten am and i'm trying v hard to wake up for it and i got told yesterday that, you're perpetually late charmaine and you're not managing your time well. agree, or don't agree?
i don't need any of this from my Tuition Teacher please :/

now i'm freaking out over my unfinished homework and my FIVE tests next week, idk what i'm doing here when i should be studying.
neverminddd when school reopens i shall see the Usuals everyday and we shall be full time nerds :D
&i miss the Tablemates and the (highlighters? :0) haha and all

i got very wonky last night (i think) and the night before. D:
stayed up till 130 to integrate and differentiate and ended up getting it all mixed up. &SBPP was doing her geog notes v efficiently haha, so i got grumpy with amath and went to sleep D:

the night before was, whatever
&i don't know what i should do anymore, wish i could just run away, the lousy escapist i am
getting really sick and tired, someone make it all go away please
condescension really, really gets to me.

Come on courage, teach me to be shy

2008-06-10T08:28:00.000-07:00

we played Speed with giant cards :D and tying knots with megan's string candy.
led worship on saturday morning with megan. yeah.

i went to SA's crib, &holland V is my new favourite cool place.

i do not eat, and eat and eat, always. just, most of the time. :D i'm so fattttt :/ even though i keep telling phina that we mst really stop this, gluttony.
(and i'm NOT lost sheepish, despite what The Usual Suspects think. despite the fact that i am saved as lost sheep on abxs' phone.)

tuition was weird, there's this girl who wears Coach sandals and LV belts and carries around this huge LV bag (even to the toilet, i believe :0)

i do not like people who flaunt their wealth so blatantly v much, but she's my fellow o-level mugger, so i guess we will be galpalzx and she will get me an iPhone by oct :0 (ha, ha)

and tuition's so crazy. it's like four hours a day everyday. I HATE IT IHATEIT

drills on monday was really quite amusing. (and horribly unforgettable /: )

because i was looking at the floor excessively and (who else?) asked me if i was looking for gold on the floor. and if i found the gold yet. (whatever)
&i mean i totally didn't know what the answer was supposed to be

so i said errrrr yeah yeah i found it.

haha how stupid was that, and how v humiliating :0

i'm feeling, quite fine nowadays :)

&, i'll be there for y'all, always.

i would like to be a Constant :D

(&phina if you're reading this. i'm staying up to do Somebody's present though her birthday was, 1month23days ago. hmm :P )

2008-06-03T07:12:00.000-07:00

jubilate

which got me grounded. now my social life ceases to exist. hoho.

but, it was cool to watch :D and to spot people!

children's camp!

i didn't go for like half the thing &i didn't go for night games. how very coolzx right, but anyway it was pretty good anyway :D

(oh look, last year's pictures! so much has changed manzx. tohugh we still sat by the lift and watched people come in and out teehee. and i'm wearing the same shirt!)

i would like to ask You things without changing anything, but that's not possible right now

guess i'll just, sit &wait

2008-05-28T08:34:00.000-07:00

this is what happens when you're stupid like me

(&you know when you say something or post something or whatever, everything gets psychoanalyzed to the very last minute detail)

substitute people.

i'm glad this is happening afterall.
FTW

2008-05-24T07:52:00.000-07:00

my cousin's so CUTE

i still like serena more than blair (: teehee

i hate the Parents, they are mean and horrible and i do not like the way they are treating me D:
asdfghjkl;irritatingasdfghjkl;

watched two movies yesterday (like backtoback) at phina's and ate alot of junk. i was supposed to lose the fats but now i'm just adding on to them. cut my hair but not before some minor hairdresser-who-was-supposed-to-turn-up-was-on-mc issue. ha ha. anyway my hair looked ahlianzxz for the day bec it got straightened, but now it's back to normal :D
&four icecream sundaes and cass' hot new crush, the waiter from Swensen's whom she thinks is really cuuute(she has issues, ha ha.)
it was really quite amusing.

i tried to go see BBB today? but there was no BBB :/ she was supposed to work on sat nights okay. and i was peering arnd the counter like an idiot looking for her haha

i feel like whatever, (even though whatever's the most misused word).
sometimes, i don't know who's really who anymore, &i wonder how much we mean to each other.
&please tell me, what is this.

2008-05-08T08:10:00.000-07:00

i can still remember (:
our quotable quotes were hilarious.
sancia, are you more interested in your hair or lit?

watch What Happens in Vegas.
it looks brainless but it's actually very very sweet and very funny and very cool :D

I WANT TO FIND BKB!

otherwise we will just go to gardens that ice cream place :D

doubts doubts doubts

2008-05-03T08:47:00.000-07:00

emokidzzx :0

courtesy of ryan(i like ryan he's v funny :D)

we are good studiers :D (i'm real sorry friends my com can't take anymore stress which is why, i didn't post everything D: this is all i've got)

i'm starting to think i'm actually capable of group studying and shutting up to do work nowadays. except the next time arnd we won't drown any flies and name it our Pet Fly aye :0 &we won't all wear red accidentally. but but anyway it was :D

cass, your ego is so huge, wow can't even see your face anymore tskkkk.
her and her amazing mindmaps. you've never seen mindmaps like hers i swear they are v scary to look at.

my dad tried to cook today. assured us he could totally cook in half an hour.
well, turns out he can't even turn on the fire. ha ha but anyway i thought he was v amusing. he called his weird bits of flour 'flowers' bec apparently, that's what japanese people do too. yeah, sure dad, whatever.

You have won my heart and i am Yours
i liked worship today (:

2008-04-28T08:52:00.000-07:00

i like Daphne loves Derby, v much (:

they make, alot of sense

Sometimes I'm scared that things could be

So much better than this

What's best is not right

Sometimes I wish that we could be

So much closer than this

But I won't look up when you walk away

a week ago, i had this horrible dream.

i dreamt that we were going to do probability forever. it was really very real like, mrs soh standing in front telling us it's going to be Pobability and nothing else from now on.

it was, really horrible and scary, i think failing probability really has left some sort of emotional scar or whatever on me :0

2008-04-24T08:22:00.000-07:00

happy happy happy birthday candice :D

and yes, i do know that we asked you to list out everything properly, but please, use your common sense. small items like straws, you don't have to tell me you have 1188 of them. we not so sadistic as to make you go count straw and satay sticks. just tell me you have 1 big packet or wat will do. (but it is commendable that you managed to count 1000 over of straws. how long did it take you?)

GERALDINE MADE US COUNT THE STRAWS&THEOTHER RUBBISH (WE SPENT AN HOUR, BTW) AND OH LOOK, IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING.

it was, EXCRUTIATING to pick out toothpicks with snnp written all over them (doubt they're even usable, would you stick a toothpick that's been written on in your mouth) and count them ONE BY ONE.

i feel so stupid, hahaa after i read the email i just started laughing to (and, at? omgzx) myself. and after reading cass' blog, she's hilarious ttm.
AI was horrible, carly got out. D: the voting's rubbish i say, if david cook gets out i will kill myself and refuse to watch anymore AI.

i miss, michelle. she is coming home v soon.

well, not really. but still :D

what would it be like, if any of you left for good.

2008-04-20T07:36:00.000-07:00

i got my cool book, about the melanncholic death of oyster boy and other stories. turns out, sancia has it, and she didnt read it until tonight, ha ha

i like char boy.
but he got swept out into the street because he was mistaken for a fireplace. WHY

i bet he told you that he loved you. &he put his arms around you, and said that even if everyone else turned their backs, even if you never saw your family and friends again, a world with only you and him and the baby would feel downright crowded because of all the love that would be stuffed into it.

how sweet is that. who cares if i sound like a sucker :D

hmm. i wonder what it'd be like, if you left.
or, what it'd be like for you if i did.
except i won't.

:D

2008-04-18T07:31:00.000-07:00

from sunday, where we went someplace at marina sq for phina's birthday and they turned up two hours late, so me&sancia talked and walked and talked and walked
anyway it was, fun :D

how cool is that, chem lab

see, going to cry already :0

i stayed up till what time to do this thing manzzx.

hello, i'm finally posting, i'm like the laggiest of everyone else hahaa

happy birthday to the bestfriend phinaweena :D (though her birthday was technically yesterday, nevermind)

we did cool cool present, folded many many straw&paper hearts with like the cheesiest quotes on them. which sound veree typical of each of us.

cass says, you are the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. (ttm, ttc, lab! HAHA)

sancia&i say, your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

oh and. in your life, we were there. and we will always be.

sancia's emoattack! was real funny, she ended up crying&laughing (:

i had fun at the cool japanese place, :D

went to catch Definitely Maybe today with melo&wai, it was good but not a cryish movie D: not really. i got showered by popcorn :( and we were like, quick quick must finish popcorn before it ends, OHNOO IT'S ENDING.

ahah. even more retardedly we went to take neoprints, :0 like how cool is that manzzx, i haven't taken them in years. all bec somebody had this inexplicable urge to take them again

i am, Happy Girl.

i'm doing a pretty good job of forgetting so far

2008-04-12T09:24:00.000-07:00

the people at fish&co prob hated us with a vengeance D: since we made too much noise and kept asking for refills of the drink that we passed around again and again, lost count of how many times we refilled the glass ahah

:D

:0

fish&co people yay :D

birthday girl <3

that's my PP! ahah, who ate ALL the mussels except one

it's midnight, so much for my brilliant plan to get up at SIX to watch the notebook before church. i imagine i'll be falling asleep on the sofa trying to follow the storyline, and crying by myself when it ends :0 omgzx, retarded ttm hahaa

anyway that stupid thing that's been at the back of my mind and like bugging me all the time, is that i failed probabilty, and i only know one person who failed besides me. it's so asdfghjkl; because i thought i was FINE, not the best but not dying

but apparently i am la, i am Loser Gurl when it comes to emath, how coolios

friday was good, it was melo mnie's birthday, yay i love that girl v much, like TTM :D

2008-04-06T08:49:00.000-07:00

i feel grumpy.
i have the chinese ppt to do and it's 1228.
i hate chinese.
i don't give a damn about zhang ailing and her tragic lifestory.
i can't live much longer without my iPod.

i hate sunday nights and mondays even more.
i have a bad feeling that i'm going to flunk probabililty.
i have a bad feeling about everything now.
i am, Highly Irritable.

i need a break.
i need friday to come so we can go to dinner and be happy and high.
i need to make presents, desperately.
i need to stop needing breaks.

i hate change.
i'm worried about when you disappear.

&I'm sorry I'm not strong enough
to let go of the things that I love way too much

2008-04-05T08:59:00.000-07:00

yf was funny today :D

the whole Cookie thing, and the cookies were damn good. i should learn how to bake cookies like that, except i can't even bake brownies(the brownie mix kind) very nicely, so there you go.

played for yf today, guess it wasn't too bad, think i was drowned out by kwan (:

i slept 12 hours last night D: i've never slept that long before, srsly. my body clock is getting screwy, haha. the mom says it's because i eat too much subway(YEAH I'M SURE) that's why i'm so tired (and she says i'm fat and i'm a pig too, wtc, mothers are supposed to be lovely and kind and encouraging, are they not)

i'm celebrating phina fungi's birthday THREE TIMES, how cool is that manzx.
went melo's blog and saw that retarded picture we took on monday. haha, with me with bangs and melo with half bangs and phina with none. monday was amusing ttm, i think i'll remember that i have a contact in my eye and i'm going to DIE song like, forever. teehee

the focus on the friends and feelings
that made all those stupid songs worth singing

2008-04-03T09:13:00.000-07:00

If you let me I could
I'd show you how to build your fences
Set restrictions
Separate from the world
The constant battle that you hate to fight
Just blame the limelight

Don't look up just let them think
There's no place else you'd rather be
And now, you can't turn back
Because this road is all you'll ever have

You do all this big talking
So now let's see you walk it

2008-03-23T08:51:00.000-07:00

the funniest thing on saturday, was josephina telling me that she liked a guy. :O
cause we watched the fox fashion show thingy, and this quite hot guy was there and we named him ken cause he looks like, ken, yknow, guy version of barbie.

we had a million failed attempts of taking ken's picture manzxz, anyway ken number two looked alot better, but whatever :D

meganish megan (: says:
whatever she just bought camera is it
meganish megan (: says:
take so many boring pictures everything

omg, that was way funny, i tell you

tmr's monday D:

2008-03-18T08:09:00.000-07:00

i think though i totally didn't do ANY work(besides homework) during the march hols. it was really really good. i think

dinner with the VC people was awesome awesome anyway, food was (incredibly expensive) but the BOMB, its in times like this when we all appreciate mr choo and forget about how he shouts at us and all :D
but after dinner i just couldn't take it D: was like, impossibly full. and still had to scream chase scream chase to get my phone back before anyone else gets their hands on that unglamzxz picture of me (haha, i failed :/)

it was, really really fun :D and i laughed alot alot. i like days like these.
&melo stayed over (: oh, i meant, MNIE. hahaha,
sancia's birthday was :D too, the present we made her was KILLER :D like, super super nice if i may say so. cass kept winning mahjong :O and phina&sancia the noobs were hilarious. so was the funny prankcall to mary (:
yep. things got abit crazy in the middle D: but anyway, it was alright in the end :D

long long post. i'm deprived of coming online nowadays i swear D: would post pictures, except i can't find my cable. DARN

On the first day that I met you
I should have known to walk away
I should have told you you were crazy
And disappear without a trace

But instead I stood there waiting
Hoping you would come around

i am so bloody stupid. let myself fall in too deep, now i'm trying my hardest to get out, but, it's just really hard. out of sight, out of mind. hah, that would be the best way right now.

2008-03-11T08:06:00.000-07:00

hello all you people.

The Tablemates went to cool cool japanese place to eat plates and plates of food and icecream :D did homework like the good hardworking people we are, :DD

out of the many many failed pictures

funny people, :D

haha today we won VC :D not without the usual fuss and screaming yeah. and mr choo who really really got into his act and yelled at everyone (us and them VS people) but anyway was super tiring but quite fun and all that

long bus ride back, lunch and sat at the mrt for super long. i've nver sat in such a conspicuous place for so long, we were literally in the middle of the station

but no-one gav us a second look anyway, i'm so paranoid(if thats the right word for it?)

♥

ha ha guess what, i don't really know what to do, since all i do is live in denial and, i'm just afraid;

of what i'm not even sure of, i have issues man

asdfghjklasdfghjklasdfghjkl

2008-03-08T07:35:00.000-08:00

happy SWEET SIXTEENTH SANCIA NG :D

not really her birthday right now, but who cares aye. haha i'm going to call her at 00:00 :D

i suddenly have so much to say :/ wazzup with me manzxz

2008-03-07T07:30:00.000-08:00

TODAY WAS THE FUNNIEST FUNNIEST LOUDEST, hahah i think the people at ajisen hate us manzxz, esp the prawnmayo fella, hahahaha &person who went home with phina, whatshisname, who sat through the whole laughing-shrieking-talk rubbish affair and the pleeeeeeeeeaaaaase i don't care if it's your daddy's birthday or that your mother can hear me

and we're supp to be under public scrutiny, later one of the people write letter to mrs Goh, omgzxz haha

we're not changing places, YAY YAY YAY :D
because i feel like it, i'm going to write about nothing now

tsw was in a pissy mood today, srsly looked like she was going to kill somebody, and i didnt bring ss so yeah, could've gotten killed but she totally didn't notice. :D and i stayed up to paint somebody's sweet 16 thing, haha was super stressful

told the dad, if i screw this up i'm going to SCREAM.
the dad said, okay stop painting now, i must hurry escape upstairs and put on my ear plugs!
thanks dad, he thinks he's being smart but he really isn't

i don't even care about L1R5 anymore man, how cool is that :/ but i'm going to be full time nerd next term, watch me :D

2008-03-03T07:11:00.000-08:00

FTW
to be honest, I can't see how this could be fair
I'm so alone but you seem to be just fine.

doing things other than staring at my textbook and willing myself to crack it open, or sitting at the piano and wishing it were thursday, might actually make me feel better. or the fact that we won't be changing places after this week, bec i really don't want to :( i like my fun fun table partners very much!

just so you know, i hate how you treat me like i'm just for when you're bored or upset, but when things are absolutely the greatest for you you don't bother to ask, you just throw a couple of half hearted -cheer ups my way. save it for someone else, won't you. &i would want to tell somebody about this, if there were anybody that i would want to tell, which is nil

i love daphne loves derby, it's so apt
I'm drowning myself with thoughts of you and your company
tell me how this is fair

Don't ask me to think
good intentions will change everything
this could be the last day that I hold my breath
and stay awake for you

2008-02-27T03:44:00.000-08:00

hello, parliament is srsly zzz, guess i can forget about becoming an MP(not that i wanted to be), unless i can find a way to stay awake after twenty minutes of Yet Another Speech, hahah
we were all hyper on the way there, but on the way back everyone just shut the blinds and went to sleep

no idea what i'm doing online, a math test is tmr. though according to zhouqian, i've been ever so hardworking ever since i came to sit beside shirlium, hahaha/
we've taken to writing to ourselves on post-its to make ourselves study harder :D

this has been an extremely weird week, someone please tell me what to do

would you believe me if i said i didn't need you
cause i wouldn't believe you if you said the same to me

2008-02-24T07:08:00.000-08:00

SCHOOLDAY! :D

(: hahah alicia in stnicks with, a TIE :O

the new ACSI/HCI/RI kids on the block

hci/ rafflesmeridian(yeah i KNOW)/acsi

retarded to the max( can you see samkwan at the back!)

i took that! my amazing photo-taking abilities (:

that's how my exciting saturday went, :D though i look veryvery unglam in like. er almost every shot, so what's new aye. hahah, but yeah it was sooperfun :D

according to kwan i look somewhat like a policeman, but people said i looked COOL, hoho :D

Juni's blog has all the pictures, bytheway :D

had The Talk with the dad, now i'm on probation, until after ccc and piano is over, I CAN'T WAIT to be free man.

i want to swim underneath a waterfall too, (:

2008-02-22T07:56:00.000-08:00

because life's like that, i got hit on the head/wrist by the heavy flagpole yesterday, and my first thought was, GREAT I'M GOING TO LOSE MY BRAINS AND BECOME A VEGETABLE. but i'm not, i'm alright :D i totally remembered everything the doctor asked me, like, what i ate for breakfast, ahahahah

finally no ccc today, had good talk with sancia at coffeebean (: haven't talked to her for such a long time in such a long time, what with cca and everything getting into the way of our recesses, so i'm pretty glad for today.
/

went back to sell food, the enterprising ambitious people we are :D think me&phina intimidated the parents a little too much, but hey, we sold everything okay :D though it was nearly ten when we were done and everyone was dead on their feet. just happy i did my bit for the class yep

SCHOOLDAY SCHOOLDAY SCHOOLDAY! :D
so exciting!

hello, someone tell me what to do with my life,
please kill me now, term 1's L1R5 is skyrocketing like nobody's business.
the things that make me happy, i can't stop thinking about them, ahah sometimes i can't tell if that's a good or bad thing

2008-02-17T07:08:00.000-08:00

hello, i miss you too.

i tried to think about what defines me today, because i felt sick and couldn't do anything except sit arnd. and guess what, i totally couldnt think of anything
first day of cat class, we were asked to give ourselves a word picture. like, juni said camera, nng said ping pong ball(or food? hahah) , i said, i don't know

hurh look at me man. study too much or something, too caught up in studying/socialising/whatnot
i am so blend-into-the-crowd-ish, i can't stand it sometimes, but oh welllll

weekend was good, though, yf was really terribly funny ystd, rehearsal/worship was pretty alright too. got me thinking about some stuff. oh and? i think i need to improve my punctuality manzxz, i cannot go on having my friends to call me in the morning to wake me up so i won't be late, or worse, being 45 minutes late.

NEXT WEEK'S SCHOOL DAY, :D it's going to be YAY

honey is the only food that doesn't spoil.

2008-02-10T05:37:00.000-08:00

chinese new year is, same old stuff

except this year i was supp to study with my cousin since it's the ALL IMPORTANT o's year (hurh) but guess what, we did absolutely nothing. i did, anyway. heh

sat outside starbucks at ps, watched ps i love you, and all that. abit of capt's ball and looking at people play wii (like, rabbits plumbing and whatnot) ahah was good, but now i feel so guilty :(
ps i love you was good, really really good. (:

Your guardian angel is such a sweet song, it really is.

You and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore

And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason

back to school people, what the crap.

2008-02-06T08:41:00.001-08:00

read a few blogs, and now i totally know i want to get out of singapore after my a's, and go somewhere else, see places

(:

2008-02-06T07:52:00.000-08:00

this is the tablepartn (:

i am so happy :D i blew my money on a real CUTE shirt, yay yay yay

today, was good, yes it was :D

remind me not to eat Carl's jr by myself, it was hilarious how melo and sancia almost died trying to eat it ALL, hahaha.

and also not to offer to help hold trays for the waiters while they help you get forks, they fully don't appreciate your nice offer. the guy kept giving me weird looks after i said, i help you hold you go get our forks, now, please. hahah

i love walking and shopping, :) ha ha

We'll scream loud at the top of our lungs

And they'll think it's just cause we're young

2008-02-03T08:13:00.000-08:00

shite. i forgot to do my spa worksheet. i just realised after i read juni's blog and she was rambling on about spa. it's midnight, i do not feel like doing anything other than going to sleep soon. ho ho ho so much for my STUDY-HARD-RESOLUTION.

weekend was good, though the crowds were so crowded, it was scary

i got a chinchilla. HAHA i remember what happened last week

me: i'm going to get a chinchilla
phina: huh? what's that?
melo: YOU DON'T KNOW?
phina (trying to be smart): oh OF COURSE I KNOW. it's a sort of dog, right? i just don't know what kind of dog it is.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

i love love love next week (:

2008-02-01T08:00:00.000-08:00

it's so weird, but i've been getting 23 on all of my tests. my sciences and mathes, ALL 23. out of 40. i'm ever so brilliant and hardworking, aren't i, it's all C5

today. was absolutely the last straw. i broke my 23 thing when that math (hydroxide? hahaha) teacher of mine took away one mark. then it was like, :( why did she have to do that. just couldnt take it. and yeah. :'/

i need to study. once and for all, term's not over yet

anyway, today was good too, SHELTERPEOPLE, 12:12! (: well done all, i am so happy we finally got things right. syl has stopped giggling (gloria hasn't) and it's all generally so much better. yay us. yay everyone in ccc.

i will not let myself be bossed arnd, and i will do whatever i want to. you know what i mean. :D

SWEENEY TODD: DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET is M18, i refuse to believe this is true, it's so darn good! i dont care, i shall find some way to watch it ANYWAY.

summary of coffee prince:
a girl whom is a tomboy,is liked by a boy who thinks he is a boy and likes him so he is very miserable and thinks he is a gay

translation:
haha it means this boy, likes this girl, but he doesnt know the girl is a girl, cos she acts like a tomboy, then the boy thinks the girl is a guy, so he ends up feeling miserable and thinks he's gay

(: coots. is the cute way of saying cute

after all, who among us hasn't felt awkward and unlovely, and yet imagined that -given room to stretch our wings- we just might be beautiful.

2008-01-29T07:27:00.001-08:00

complacency.

never gets you anywhere. just because you could do it last year doesn't mean you can do it as well this year. stupid chemistry.

going to fail chem/phy if i dont start STUDYING

2008-01-27T07:44:00.000-08:00

oh hello.
week was good, but cannot remember anything much about it. i can only remember that i finally got my (SUPER CUTE) erasers, and got chased up and down and everywhere trying to stop getting burnt by melo's stoopid chicken, and trying to stop my winniepooh from getting stolen but er, didn't suceed. (hahahaha)
took real cool pictures in class and on the stairwells, and miss rockey came by and started laughing at us (or smth)

:)

come on everybody, grin and bear it.

this crazy mad weekend of mine.
i feel so terribly unmotivated and really am freaking out really badly because i have no new cny clothes :(

things are esp bad during studying because my ipod's still locked up in the dont-know-where and goodness knows when i'll get it back(i kind of shattered a fraction of the dining room chandelier by accident, thankfully the dad's as unobservant as anyone can get) haha, but the odds are still. not looking too good!

still. weekend was good. rush rushing to eat chinese food, heh. rush rushing to buy moremoremore clothes. except got one only. &camp echo. the camp people. camp pictures. :D

all american rejects! :D i miss them.

I got your little brown shirt in my bottom drawer baby

And your little white socks in the top drawer

You were always leaving your shit around

And gone without a sound

Yeah I'm the first to fall and the last to know

Where'd you go?

by the way, the girl who barked at us that day? she's in my cca. ho ho ho, shannen and phina are going to have such fun with their sec ones haha :D

2008-01-21T07:46:00.000-08:00

i know

I would do it all over again

At the end of the day

When I'm all alone

I get a feeling that I can't explain

If I knew then what I know now

Wouldn't change a thing if I could somehow

I would do it all over

Over and over again

I hope and I pray

We can do it all over again

this, is the song i'm listening to right now, for no apparent reason i stumbled across it and it kind of just strikes a chord within you? i don't know, but anyhow, it's good.

makes me feel like, even though life hasn't been ALL real cool and all of that, i really think that. despite it all, really wouldn't have given anything of it up. yeah. even when i was at my down-est. because i kind of think that, the good things outweigh the bad

keep getting these strange, strange happy/sad/angry mood things, i don't know if it's just me or is it something that happens when you're stuck at my age. i remember i read my sec4 counselor's blog in sec 1, she said that her not crying for that day was a record.

she's abit er, too emotional, haha but yknow, maybe there's hope for me afterall aye, i don't cry everyday

i'm not supposed to care. i don't, i really really don't. can get by really happily without you, all that.

hurhur now, who am i trying to kid

how can you say i E> you to a person who doesn't even know your name, has never laid eyes on you, or anything? love is blind, literally.

or you might not mean it at all,

2008-01-15T07:21:00.000-08:00

two posts in two days. in a row. wow

i wanted to run around in the rain today, really really did, but i was too busy tying diagonal lashings. yeah, but today's trng wasn't bad at all, it was so funny because when we finally erected our lousy structure that whole thing just broke, hahaha yes, don't even know why it was so amusing but it was

anyhow. was hoping the rain would make me feel more, alive somehow. yeah
just been getting wearier everyday, feel like the capacity in my head's just about running out

what's your fantasy?

2008-01-14T07:34:00.000-08:00

i taught jason how to write letters. not that i'm a pro or anything, just got into this funny topic of writing letters for no apparent reason. anyway, it was one good thing i did today, out of the many stupid klutzy that i did, ha ha ha.

so i think i'm gonna start with HI HO Diggidy!
:D
i made a new friend today too (:
she's called deborah, and she's real nice, haha

sometimes i don't believe in posting personal things on your blog, because, like you have to get all cryptic and stuff when you really really don't feel like doing that. and also the fact that everyone will think you're emo and everything. you think?

but anyway, i guess sometimes you think you're pretty good friends with someone, and in the end it's nothing at all. becuase they don't seem to make an effort anymore, and then, neither do you.

it's this thing, it's called pride.

just a thought. anyhow.

do you know where your heart is.

2008-01-12T08:15:00.000-08:00

hello, all.

been a long long long long long day, i swear it's like time crawls by really slowly when you're stuck at home with your little sister and you're thinking about what's going on in yf now.

haha i just heard this stupid HILARIOUS story like the funniest thing i've ever heard in a long long time, some little sec one from SA getting on the bus from the back door, he was taking bus for the first time. who gets onto buses from the back door, it's like, HAHA BRAINLESS and his indian friend who's been taking buses for years just followed him by the backdoor, right into the face of a stunned old guy.

wish i were there to see it manzxz.

that day, me and phina were walking somewhere in school, and this sec one person came up to us and barked in our faces. like a dog. it was like, WHAT?

strange people, haha, but it's so darn funny

If I knew then what I know now

Wouldn't change a thing if I could somehow

I would do it all over

Over and over again

2008-01-10T06:26:00.000-08:00

FRIDAY TOMORROW :D

it'll have been one whole week since last friday, when we played cards and talked and slept on makeshift beds consisting of three desks pulled together. couldn't sleep at all, but it was, good. quite funny when campfire started and suddenly they were like, THE GRASS IS ON FIRE! and we all started getting out buckets of water and all.

been campcrafting too much, my week-old shoes are totally SMOTHERED in mud and i'm starting to get into the, GO CAMPCRAFT COMM! WE CAN TIE ROUND LASHINGS UNDER TWO MINUTES! :D thing, which doesn't go with my slacker's-club-attitude at all, ah well.

goodbye people, time to hit the books. got to get used to this constantly-studying-thing soon :/

2008-01-06T06:39:00.000-08:00

i feel like asdfghjkl;

but anyway looking at pictures made me feel slightly happier (:

there was this picture, we looked so retarded because it was a failed jump shot and we ended up looking like snow angels or smth.

to build me up and tear me down

2008-01-02T07:12:00.000-08:00

happy 2008, y'all.

first day of school, was actually really good i guess, though i was totally dreading it so much the night before, i didn't sleep till 2am.

skipped a little bit of cca, to sit in class blasting the speakers and talk about, yeah. i seem to be comforting people alot these days (or, trying to?) don't know if i'm helping or making things worse, hmm. but yes, melanielim you know i've got your back (:

today was just happy-saddish, i just KNOW i'm becoming more and more boring each day. THREE TESTS NEXT WEEK, hahaha what the crap right

cause when we see You, we find strength to face the day
in Your presence all our fears are washed away (:

He'll be there to catch you when you fall, always.
say a little prayer to Jesus you'll be fine.

i like that last line. someone said that to me before, except i can't remember who, ahwell (:

2007-12-29T07:07:00.000-08:00

ELLO :D

ho hum my st pete's outing was awesome i think, despite the fact that not much went right. like, we went all arnd spore looking for Settlers but they were all full, :/ then Alvin and he Chipmunks were unavailable too. oh it was actually two groupies. sharon dng iBob joe me + megan chew ( permanent resident)

in the end went Ben and Jerry's and then rented a video and went to my house to watch it. JOE STARTED COOKING :O but it was really quite good (: haha yeah it was, overall, good.

mmhmm. today i saw this person with a super distinctive tanline, the ankle socks kind, it was THAT SCARY.

just signed miss jun yan's NYAA, it was hilarious

junyan displays strong interest in learning new things. she has proved to be a committed learner and made constant improvement in her guitar skills.

i'm supposed to have taught her how to play basic guitar over the hols, isn't she ever so truthful :D

that day erica asked me, what did the guy who fell down in front of Batman say?

i said he said, i fell for you.

then erica started laughing, it was apparently so amusingzxzx

i'm determined to be a happy person :D

2007-12-26T07:37:00.000-08:00

highly saddening is the fact that christmas is once again. over.

i love christmas. not just bec i get to get and give presents but there's just this really nice warm feeling about it. and also of course the fact that He was born. yknow what i mean, (:

was told that i'm super emo on this blog, :O
being emo isn't cool, bec when you're emo you're sad, and being sad takes the joy out of life aye.
let's all be HAPPY KIDS! :D

caroling was fun! :D (until the last part when my phone & ipod got confiscated)
christmas party with the cousins was fun :D
CHRISTMAS DAY was cool too, until i got chased off the com :/

it sucks to get my phone confiscated :(
BOGGLE IS FUN (: i like it!

2007-12-18T06:57:00.000-08:00

Meg Ju Char were emoing for a good part of the night in the middle of the track, lying on the floor, feeling absolutely crap. Polishing off 2 packs of chocolate, star gazing, turning on the music, starting to jump and dance and headbang laugh and scream like we were the only ones around. Then the emoness was gone (:

so i guess it's time to talk about the last night of camp which was ultimate <3.>char and megs both gave special mention on their blogs to the last night too(: last night of camp was really very special.

irenaeus. says:
u pangseh us
irenaeus. says:
during night games
irenaeus. says:
we saw you 3
irenaeus. says:
we were like
irenaeus. says:
'Are those PLMGS girls??'
irenaeus. says:
then another person said " no la, they're our team. they helping us defend."
irenaeus. says:
then now after i see junipher's post, i realise what happened
charmaine says:
hahahah
charmaine says:
ARE YOU SERIOUS?

yeah the last night was, good (: and i'm really sorry about not going for night games with st pete's, sorry sorry guys

my Lord and God, You are so rich in mercy
mere words alone are not sufficient thanks

so take my life, transform renew and change me

that i might be a living sacrifice

hmm. camp. post camp emo-ness still kind of there, bec i totally didnt feel like leaving camp and facing reality once more, yknow. but but, i really hope this time that i'll keep up with being closer to Him at least, even though camp has not led me to feel that much close to Him.

still i'm thankful for camp and all that it was, for the messages and the getting to know people part. for finally acknowledging that i have this big problem of getting emo at precisely the wrong times.

regardless. i'm glad for camp.

not looking forward to next year at all, school's gonna be just study study study, tuition without tiffany and esthers gonna be real bad, on top of that i'll prob be grounded and miserable. as you can see i'm a highly optimistic person (:

anyhow, i got my christmas gifts for people already, they're cool presents that make me smile really big when i see them :D heh.

pictures, that i like, the rest on juni's blog (:

zyf camp 07 (:

meet joe and megan, and me on the left (:

joe looks sleepy heh

say hello to joe, my co workshop group leader

me and iBob, who thinks he looks like the Rock, ha-ha.

megan, sarah, me and juni!

fuzzy wuzzy likes apples. meet a st pete's member, y'all (:

juni and i!

i like em portrait shots (:

http://rehpinuj.livejournal.com/6309.html#cutid1

2007-12-15T07:10:00.000-08:00

zyf camp, the good and the bad.

St Pete's is cool :D and joe is an awesome co-workshop group leader without whom i would just die. yep and fuzzy wuzzy and iBob were very funny people, i like the the smurfs are coming thing iBob does, it's so very cutezxz
my groupies are quite amusing people too, heh

these five days passed by very quickly at first though, like it was suddenly, third day of camp and i didnt know! ind of thing but yeah. does that mean i was having fun, i think it does (: let me tell you, the food was the bomb :D donut factory and subway cookies.

night games night, was really. yeah. so didn't play night games. went to the middle of the field where there's nice concrete to lie on to think. and talk and be sad all you want and nobody will care. after that me ju and megan screamed at a huge frog and got happy on hello panda and Boys like girls.

but yes. it was quite cool to watch the stars. al the problems that seemed really huge and bad just felt quite small and insignificant somehow. because the sky was that big and i was like. that small. but i dont know i dont know dont want to think about anything anymore

anyway, goodnight.

2007-12-02T04:56:00.000-08:00

i, hate, kayaking

i have absolutely no idea why i said i loved it before :( capsize drills will be the death of me, literally speaking. ha-ha. the waves were being violent and exciting (:

but but, Changi village food is the bomb :D i liked ystd's dinner food the bestest best

and our group is cool 101 (:

attempt to get tanner is laughable, because even the tanning thing i put instead of sunblock didnt work, at all! ahh i look like a prawn, my mother says :(

B and H man, heh funny people they are

friday, i went to watch Enchanted, really really good movie there :D i gave josephina a very nice surprise, care to guess what it is? ha ha i'm so nice. ily josephina (:

ILIKETHEHAT! it's 58 bucks :(

marks and spencer's ha ha

i'm off to bei jing tmrw, goodbye to you

I keep a sinister smile and a hold of my heart

2007-11-29T05:38:00.000-08:00

can you say CAMWHORE ha ha yesterday, took like >150 pictures on juni's awesome big cool camera (: the pro kind of camera i'm hopeless at using (: although i know i look terribly unglam in almost all of them , please close your eyes and pretend you didnt see the one of me falling off the chair

yesterday was junipher's lucky day :D so we drank terrible bubble tea, broke window handles, dragged a screaming junipher around, played carrom and went home happy (:

GO GO AND SEE

http://rehpinuj.livejournal.com/4396.html#cutid1

her retarded face, my finger

choir room ha ha

because, she wouldnt come into small sanctuary with us!

see my blue nails (:

she's a happy kid!

then. this picture i tihnk is really nice (:

goodbye (:

2007-11-27T05:20:00.000-08:00

i've decided not to post too much, it's such a turnoff to squint at the com and read other people's nonsense aye (: i need to change my font, but don't know how

ho hum. finally changed my blogskin, tried a glazed doughtnut, finished up some homework, painted my nails blue. went for a (probably useless since it's so short) run. i feel, accomplished :)

today today. esther told me a hundred scary stories and reduced me to a paranoid neurotic person who didn't dare to take the lift alone :/

she says i think too much, so i'm not thinking about anything now, i swear thinking about stuff is horrible for health and just makes you disillusioned and carried away

but it'll really suck to live in denial and be happy all the time ha ha

songs like, that thing you do! just can't help but make you smile don't you think (: or like maybe the Friends theme song. or like maybe twelve donuts you didn't have to queue for. whichever, you choose (:

listening to the song we used to sing

in the car, do you remember

butterfly, early summer

2007-11-23T05:50:00.000-08:00

i am supposed to be a melo's house probably sleeping by now but i'm at home playing scrabulous ha ha. waking up at an unearthly hour tmr, but i love kayaking (:

today today. watched bratz, quite a silly impossible movie but still alright enough :D

yesterday, did the NP board, i'm tired of drawing already. and i dont want to look at anymore monopoly boards in a long long time (: ha ha. then. after dinner sat in a corner of amkhub, never will i ever tsk and shake my head at people who sit at corners of shopping malls ever again (:

more things i resolve to do: (3) watch a movie alone (4) REALLY REALLY get livejournal or wordpress (HOW?) (5) do all holiday homework (6) be responsible for all my mistakes (last week's msg.) (7) mm get things sorted out, hopefully

:) despite feeling crappy last night tonight's really an alright night. mm they even rhyme.

i want to eat donuts! factories shouldn't run out of donuts, it just isn't a natural thing to happen, if you know what i mean (:

meggan ! says:
HEY you know what!
meggan ! says:
theres the "what attracts me" thang on facebook?
meggan ! says:
you and me gave 100% same answers!
meggan ! says:
cool YOZX
when you close your eyes, what do you like to see? says:
HAHAHAH

I would fall asleep

Only in hopes of dreaming

That everything would be like it was before

But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting

They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

2007-11-17T09:19:00.001-08:00

i resolve to: (1) change my blogskin or get wordpress or SOMETHING
(2) sleep by midnight every night

among other things like finishing up homework and having fun (: hahah.

today was. ha. ha. i don't know
took a long long train ride to west coast and left my shoebag under the seat of the train. i got to my shoebag in time, just as the doors closed. so i had to take back and forth like some idiot. ahwellllll :) i didn't know west coast was such a hip and happening place, but what do you know, it is :O

was totally going to rush down to rachel's church in the middle of yf but. hahah spent one hour downstairs instead. but still got to the church in time for ten minutes more of the mass, (: yeah.

being online at one in the morning makes me feel sleepy :/ but anyway tiffany&i have gotten around to looking at friendsters and stufflikethat. hahah, i have gone from not-informed to uber informed. ah well.

2007-11-15T07:41:00.000-08:00

conference, was quite fun (: despite being way overdressed in white kebayas(which were quite pretty anyway) and whatnot. between attacking the horrible people rep vietnam and the slappable singaporeans hahah yeah. guess doing the powerpoint and stuff were quite worthwhile, but. reaching ONE hour earlier and spending money on costumes were uncalled for(!who's idea was it manzxz) then some weird-tempered teacher kept scolding us because we were apparently intruding in her all-exclusive staff/guest -toileteven though we were guests to their school, :O she has issues man.
and the catered food was damn good hahah.

been reading blogs, some people sound so disgustingly pretentious and everything, i wonder how it feels to live your life in denial and be ever so high, all the time? i wonder how they manage to get a decent lit grade if they sound as if they have absolutely no depth at all? i wonder how they can choose to ignore their fully functioning brains and act like the stupid blond chicks you see on tv all the time, just to get attention?

anyway, i found this on megan's blog, heh

anyhow, got the yearbook today, i look really :O in it but haha never mind (: let's just pretend it looked alright shall we. we ended up not watching a movie today though, :/ but still talked for a bit and waited for the rain to stop. :D

cut my hair too, i have a fringe now, but not bangs. i like my hair :) me and josephina went to some super faraway place to get, haircuts, hahah but it was :D and, the food down there is awesome, :D one more day of school left, and then i shall get to sleep in everyday YAYE. can't waittttt.

And about forgiveness we're both supposed to have exchanged

I'm sorry honey but I passed up now look this way

2007-11-09T06:20:00.000-08:00

the last post was insanely pms-ish hahah and i have no idea why i feel like blogging all over again

the really really bad thing about not having your own camera is that you can't get pictures on time, or anything. hahah then you get them all at once, and flood your blog or whatever with a gazillion pictures, but then i still only have SOME pictures, :/

pictures i cannot even remember exactly when we took, but i do remember the fun&allthat (:

spent deepavali at lydia's house, doing that funny asean thing and ordering pizza in and singing Jenny really loudly and sitting in that really cool living room of her aunt's and talking&talking and yuki, (: her fluffy white puppy

we are still going to Batam, even if we have to sleep in tents and PITCH tents and visit local produce shops (anybody want to buy corn?) i do not even know why i am doing this, but i am. i want to go cable skiing and dragon boating :D who knows maybe we can still play cards in the tents. like, by flashlight or smth.

hahah (: was thinking of cutting bangs, but everyone was like NO NO NO/ you will look like Blossom that red-haired powerpuff girl, ohwellllll

&i am the proud owner of a huge green m&m that's really quite cute, and i bought it because i thought the green m&m was cute, and me and melo will have matching huge green m&ms. i forgot that i hate m&ms :/

hahah i should stop coming online and do some trigo for the test on monday, but i don't get it anyway.

some things seem to be changing, and i'm actually quite glad. but terribly sad at the same time. hahah contradictory much. but yeah. i'm just grateful for the late night phone calls, and everything else (:

happiness is relative, and never make people your personal barometer for happiness.

2007-11-02T08:49:00.000-07:00

was told to blog more. guess i should also. though i was under the impression no-one bothered to read this anymore. yaye this shall be a long post because i feel like it (:

things on the home front are so irritating and horrible at the moment. think i'm just being an idiot and making things difficult for the dad and sister. i see them getting quite pensieve at times. wonder if it's my fault,
but she's wrong she's wrong she's wrong

and i think i'm too much of a pushover. i really am, and you know what, that's going to change. i'm not going to spend the rest of my life being pushed around by people. think i'm really too random but yeah. i hate being taken for granted as well.
and since i'm fifteen and about a week and a half old i should remind myself not to be silly or airheaded anymore (: hahah.
actually it's not funny leh i have to grow up and stop making stupid comments and things like that. stop getting stuck in my perfect little world. where everyone loves everyone else and nobody's mean to anyone. yeah

nothing much else really. lessons quite a drag but think i get through each day pretty alright (: mostly just stoning and drawing rubbish on the backs of worksheets (: today tsw was having serious pms or smth, that stupid lady. apparently the people who didn't clean the blackboard are pathetic with a capitol P. i didn't clean the blackboard but i'm not pathetic >:(

on the bright side. chinses o's weren't that hard, thank God (: had quite alot of fun too. that sushi place was damned good hahah i want to go again. though it was kind of silly to sit there and study chinese the whole afternoon, but then we took alot of plates without even realising yup :D hahah so fun. that sworkshop thing after school was good too. i guess. communications speaker was quite amusing, but the image consultancy lady was egostical and weird

i hate going for tuition. knowing that everybody's leaving that damned place and wishing i could do the same. but i can't, or my physics grade will just die, oh what the hell/
why can't things just stay the same. or rather why is everybody always able to let go. all but me
guess i'm not showing any signs of growing up yet, hurh. i shall miss tiff/serene/therest, alot alot

i'm going to eat ben&jerry's, this is getting kind of morbid (: hahah.

i went to buy donuts todayyyyy :D took twenty minutes or smth. went back for cca but it was time to go already hahah. food comm did good though, i tried the food! (: and then i played beach rally on josephina's phone during evaluation and I GOT SILVER (: hahahaha she must be damned proud of me ecause i've never gotten silver before (:

hope things'll be good tmr. tmr evening will def be fun :D haven't done a thing for tuition. i'm staying up to midnight to send the mentor a 00:00 birthday thing, how nice am i (:

2007-10-27T08:08:00.000-07:00

you know how you can get really happy, and then just one little thing brings you down.
story of my life.

like when i thought it was actually gonna be okay to wake up every sat morning and put myself through memory work and tys if you were here. and maybe you were going to be gone, what the hell/
like when i thought i was alright but, i was not really.
like maybe i knew you enough and you cared also, but you didn't really
like when i thought i'd be free from exams, only to realise chinese o's were in my face, and that i've never been very good at chinese all along

i think i'm a huge idiot sometimes >:/ and i scare myself with the stupid shit i think about

you knew how to make people feel special, i just didn't see it coming

2007-10-18T08:50:00.000-07:00

hello :D
eoys are overrr yaye. don't think i did too badly except foremath/combined humans. both of which i barely passed. ohwell, who really cares right.

been really fun, i love post-exam period! (: (: (: though i haven't gotten my sweater. because the nice sweater in my head doesn't exist :( despite looking like everywhere. it really seriously is everywhere :( &i don't have (the) pictures :/

back for tuition already, it's so soon :/ but anyway it was super unproductive, all i did was stone and write half a page of notes (: buttttt anyway it was fun to talk &everything :D then i found out something really :O! hahahah yeah

school's all about, revising chinese. chinese chinese chinese, :/ boring boring boring manzxzxz.

reality's crashing to the floor

2007-09-08T09:32:00.000-07:00

OHSOCOOL I GOT THE FRIDAY PICTURES :D the leaf picture is SOCUTE because josephina's an awesone photographer

outreach was good, (: at first i didn't have any pants, and then afterwards i had two pairs of pants to choose from! :D heh yeah but i wore the nice cheap tendollar pants michelle bought, i couldn't wear andrew's altered yj pants but yeah. it was all good. yay. praise God (:

zac decided to bring a tuition friend, and. hahah i spent 2hours and 20 minutes and 35 seconds being weird instead of sleeping, amusing and really stupid much?

my parents are so weird sometimes. my mom got a frikkin comb stuck in her hair and she picked me up from tuition an hour late because she was trying to get it out, and made me wait and wait like an idiot. and you know what, in the ehd she cut off a huge chunk of hair, plus the comb, and, that's, like, so, totally, dumb.

i fetched my dad from the airport today and had dinner there, (: he bought mangoes home for some reason, and now the car smells of mango. the living room smells like mango. my room smells of mango. i think even i smell like mango :/ hurhur

yeah it's alright i'll be fine, don't worry about this heart of mine

2007-09-04T06:28:00.000-07:00

hairspray was cool :D zac efron looked really good in it hahah. &sports outreach was quite fun, though my feet are really sore :/ from playing captain's ball barefoot! like after that i couldnt even walk :/ hahah

today is kind of like a good-bad day, &i don't like good-bad days

school's science workshop whatever wasn't all that bad, it was quite alright actually (: like, can play xbox though it's not like i've even touched an xbox in my entire life. but since i can't play beach rally for nuts i shouldn't have expected myself to be able to play that car-game thing (:

got my blood type checked out though it's not like i don't already know it. the checking process freaks me out. (phina's hair isn't too bad btw, she looks kind of cute if you think about it (:)

the bad part of the day was, when my mean tutor made horrible remarks about me being behind the others and everything, what a meanie. >:(

ystd was esther yap's birthday, so we all went for dinner tonight (: and the place we went was really nice, they gave us free icecream :D yep that was really quite fun, then we went back and talked about silly things, hahah, so amusing (:

we'll make the great escape

2007-08-30T08:29:00.000-07:00

okay, something just dampened my VERYVERYVERYHIGH mood >:/ but never mind i shall deal with it! (:

anyway yeah no school tomorrow, how cool is that :D no army open house, even better! like, who would really want to spend hours in TUAS looking at the latest new army equipment.
i don't know what's with the hairspray thingo, but, go with the flow (:

i'm reading twilight now, that edward cullen is hot (: with an added bonus of being a vampire, oh well. it's totally not making me study, i like abandoned my tuition homework to read and come online. what a slacker i am

and my ppr's like crap too, zhou qian said, xue mian ni yao jia you again, just the way she did last term. why can't, i like, study harder, and, do better! >:(
chinese prelims today was brain deaden-ing can. four hours straight of chinese, my brain can't really take it. though i seem to have quite alot of stuff to say about anorexic girls, i wrote four pages straight. hurh

things change, yet they stay the same. complicatedcomplicatedcomplicated. i don't like complicated things! still at least some stuff has fallen into place. like, back to normal. yaye (: hahah oh wellll i'm going for sports outreach, :D

oh oh i will change my mind kind, julia's reallyquiteamusing.

2007-08-26T05:53:00.000-07:00

today i woke up and there was no water. apparently the pipes burst, so my entire family had to like carry pails of water from the hose outside to shower and stuff, ew. ha ha my dad was like, i feel like we're at war or something.

i'm totally supposed to be studying something now, except i can't bring myself to :/ ting xie's the bane of all the tests i could get. does that sound right? ha ha anyway yeah it's like those little chinese charactors can't seem to stick in my brain. i can't even seem to print the ke wen out right, ugh

i didn't go for armyday which was yf ystd, i fell asleep! (but even so i was supposed to be studying anyway) well done, char. today i woke up an hour earlier and i was early for yd for a change! (:

the week was alright, the only highlight was last sunday night, we went for dinner but candice couldn't go :/ so we called her to say bye and all (: it was really quite fun and the icecream was like this :D

sheila&i

candice!

i was grumpy through monday&tuesday (and josephina wasn't at recess on monday) but then wednesday got to be alright, my replacement coach was kickass compared to my old coach. thursday melo came to study (quite productive yes. quite.) friday no cca :D

i want to watch hairspray! (:

2007-08-13T05:27:00.001-07:00

ha ha i got more pictures from national day :D and i'm too lazy to post on friendster

:D today was >:( i screwed my physics spa, zhou qian made not very subtle digs at my stupid chinese assignment and even better, got whacked in the face by a badminton racket, but that's okay. i shall be happy (:

2007-08-11T09:08:00.000-07:00

that was fun :D

we watched rush hour which was damned amusing and funny, i think it'll totally make me laugh when i'm ever down (: shopped for a bit, and walked around vivo for an hour trying to decide on a place for dinner. though el swore she knew where thaiexpress was we only found it when we were going home. hahah went to the place where there are these pools and we started wading around in the water and took pictures on this. whateveryoucallit :D

we did it pretty good, though nobody wanted to lean over to put the camera on the ledge thing, in the end rachel almost killed herself leaning over and all. quite amusing huh:)

thankgoodness ellyn's camera didn't die or i'd still be stressing over it (: i am such a klutz i can't believe it. talked about lasttime in pri school, actually they were like, really really good fun times. hahah :D

this morning i skipped tuition because i got up with a headache. such a stupid excuse and i have physics spa on monday. can die

mary chunyan and josephina came over for a very, very unproductive geog projectwork meeting :D i guitared at worship, my guitar sounded very very bright and i couldn't exactly see the chords, so there you go (:

laughter hides their silent cries

only Jesus hears

2007-08-09T03:17:00.000-07:00

happy national day! :D watched a bit of ndp just now, i hate the part with the dancing metallic costumed people trying to the octopuses and fishes and everything. but the fireworks were pretty, my mom swore we could hear them from our house. yeah, right, they're at marina bay yo. hahah

ystd was fun (: we went to pepper lunch and donut factory :D took only an hour and a half, zoo zoo club is fun! i wonder why my phone doesn't have that. >:/ freaked out quite abit cause i was late late late for tuition, like an hour late. walk-run-ed from suntec to cityhall, hahahah i bet we looked a sight.

and then the cab uncle drove me stright into a traffic jam, i was like, excuse me ni wei shen me zhe yang zuo wo chi dao le leh. hahahah

(: after that i went for dinner, which was pretty good. dinner always spells good for me :D since i'm so fat and unfit. and all hahah

national daycelebrations (:

when we were traumatizing people with our, have a flag! borchure? happy national day! thingamajinathan :D

<3

CIP, see what i told you about the balloon hats!

phina, char, melo! (from left)

in the classroom one day

me then, in sec one. hahah random yeah. i look kind of scary.

2007-08-04T09:45:00.001-07:00

sometimes i just wanna laugh at myself and i don't know why
i've never blogged twice in a day before hahah well

been reading blogs which i haven't read in ages since i have no links and all. sancia's still starting every post with a picture i see. she's into her hey there delilah mode. that song's so sweet though i reminds me of things that aren't sweet at all

read my guitar mentor's blog and i don't know why i can't turn my blog into a shoutbox of my own, all people read about is cip and what-i-did which doesn't exactly mean anything much does it. ho hum

haven't exactly been very organized in my thoughts or anything like that, all i've wanted to do is study for tests and do tys and find out who's doing the test before me so i can cheat a little. or maybe alot. now i've got time i don't have much energy to rearrange them. feel so strangely disorganized and a bugging feeling that something isn't right somewhere. though i can't see where or how

i realise my life's all about exchanges. for some reason. i do good for physics and my chemistry just dies on me. school's good but weekends just ain't so exciting anymore. and so on and so forth

and just so i forget to forget. i'd better get someone to remind me not to start everytime my conversation starts edging towards the tuition direction. tuition's supposed to be educational and where you study and kill off whatever's left of your energy after school.
not give you stress and give you like, seventeen floors of awkward deafening silence.

if you know what i mean

2007-08-04T08:26:00.000-07:00

another episode- i hate these awful fights with my mother, of all people but yeah, it's over. thankfully

cip today was amusing, we traumatized alot of people by waving flags and brochures at their faces at the entrance of escalators (: hahah. but then these nice whoever-they-ares took almost all our flags and brochures and told us stnicks rocks and everything hahah. took a million pictures. including someone melo spotted and got abit silly over in subway at eight in the morning (:

after cip we went to bugis to buy nationalday clothes, as in phina, waiteng, sylvia and i. we got jeans and yay they didn't cost alot at all :D i had to go home after that because after the abovementioned there was no way i'd be able to visit phina's church so yeah. home/

home wasn't so bad really. just wanted to go sleep the minute i hit the bedroom but. i went to practice piano which is getting to be torture really. exams just kill the joy of playing the piano but i've only got one more grade to go anyway (:

i think i really need to like pull my socks up and study harder my grades are quite appalling at the moment.

in the meantime i should just forget about what i've been dwelling on lately. it won't get me anywhere really, it's not like thinking about it's going to make a difference. it never did yeah, i probably won't this time. anyway this is an awfully wrong time for me to think about stuff like that, so whatever.

forget charmaine forget (:

2007-07-23T06:06:00.000-07:00

sunday was amusing shiz

CIP involved wearing balloon hats and doing some silly workout and stading in line with balloons in hand to attempt to break the world's longest balloon chain. it's so quantity not quality, it makes me laugh.

anyway we did take nicecutefunny pictures in our balloon hats :D

then we went to my house to change and then it was HARRYp which was terrible compared to the book but accrding to phina it's fine. and we did something very silly and amusing hahah, actually it was just me :/

like went into the wrong cinema and watched the ending of harryp until i realised it was too wrong hahah. funny right! (actually i dont think it sounds very funny now) :D

went to icekimo and had some waffle thing which was quite good, toto's workplace is quite cool :D andwe got so many icekimo chops too.

today melo said i was pissy :/

Now lets not speak of it again says:
And you were so pissy today!

goodbye says:
me?

Now lets not speak of it again says:
YEAH!

Now lets not speak of it again says:
Then my mother ah!

goodbye says:
ME?

goodbye says:
hahah what's with your mother.

Now lets not speak of it again says:
No la!

Now lets not speak of it again says:
I SAY YOU'RE SO PISSY!

Now lets not speak of it again says:
and when I said "Then my mother ah!" I was being sarcastic!

Now lets not speak of it again says:
CHARMAINEEE!

Now lets not speak of it again says:
It's like dory yeo again!

goodbye says:
HUH?

i don't get her at all,

pulchritudinous [char] ;goodbye says:
that's like, totally you!

Pulchritudinous [Phina] says:
haah

Pulchritudinous [Phina] says:
i am influetial what

pulchritudinous [char] ;goodbye says:
(i'm turning into phina omg)

Pulchritudinous [Phina] says:
isnt that good

hahah i don't know why it seems real amusing to copypaste msn-ings (:

2007-07-21T06:52:00.000-07:00

very well done shoot comm, champions again :)

sqd dinner was fun, hahah though everywhere was crowded and the rude couple was. so rude. got the nerve to tell us singaporeans have no brains somemore, so they prob aren't sporean huh. hahah but it was like eight to two people (: we got pretty red polish yaye though when my mom saw it she was like, heh you're so patriotic and stuff. she's ever so amusing sometimes, don't you think :) i tried telling her the who'stellingthestory? joke and she totally didn't fall for it;

melo and phina were really good yesterday, i love them alot alot <3 they made me happy and high again after my moment of shitstupidness(:

no tuition today and no tuition on thursday can you believe it. ahh i can't :/

haha today i did some work to make mysef feel less guilty and apprehensive of the four terrible tests next week. then i watched deathnote which i've been meaning to watch for ages and. it's really good :D that L guy is really cute

candice is baack yeah <# quite cool like i was wondering when she'd be back until she wrote to me on friendster :D it was nice to talk to her and stuff, haven't talked in like a year or something. she's the same, except with the accent and all. yaye (:

tomorrow's CIP at the crack of dawn and harryp, sofunsofunsofun. and i don't have to make my own breakfast tmr (: my mom totally forgot i have piano tomorrow and i'm not going to remind her (: hahah. though it will mean i have not gone to church at all this week, oh well.

i somehow don't feel like it matters that much anymore;

&i still don't have my ten reasons why i should join facebook, tsk/.

2007-07-18T06:38:00.000-07:00

:D today got cheated by prata guy. like three bucks plus can. what a meano >:/ hehh

2007-07-15T18:13:00.000-07:00

my com died like, AGAIN so i'm doing illegal stuff (what shirley said) during lit (: shirley's being real silly and like. exploring the cities of spore on friendster and laughing like crazy :/

anyway yeah, the weekend's alright. friday was dinner at church and saturday was cut hair day (: then sunday was super slack. like i did nothing at all.

pulchritudinous is cool (: hahah.

2007-07-10T02:39:00.000-07:00

yay i'm back (:

this isn't dead anymore thanks to the com man. who did a nice job today unlike yesterday (: yesterday was a :D day but. today's kind of a >:( day. because i did terribly on the ct assignment thingo. yeah wellll

things are kind of good now. i'm only semi-grounded as compared to being grounded all the time which for one horrific moment i thought i was. though i should be grounded since all i do is while away my afternoons eating and goodnessknowswhat.

and i totally didn't talk about my tour group or anything :/ from my europe trip. anyway here goes even though i bet some people are just really sick of what i have to say about my june hols. hahah yes. i like my tour group alot :D and it's so sad i'll prob never see them again?

yeah europe's a lovely place. though i wouldn't like to live there like, permenantly at least. because the food there's like. it's kind of hard to appreciate it.

and my favourite place is paris (: yeah that's all.

chinese oral wasn't too bad. nut said her stuff abit loudly so we caught a few words :D hhaha though i got really flustered and read a few words the opposite way. and mispronounced the environment as recycling. but it's all good (:

i want to watch harry potter and play tennis on suday. and go shopping and read harry potter and cut my hair and go Sentosa :D youth day was quite cool

2007-05-29T07:38:00.000-07:00

And here I am
Pouring my heart onto these rooftops
Just a ghost to the world
That's exactly
Exactly what I need

From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire

i need a break from all this

2007-05-27T09:26:00.000-07:00

Stop this train

I want to get out and go home again

I can't take this speed it's moving in I

know I can

Cause now I see I'll never stop this train

2007-05-24T23:42:00.001-07:00

the test, btw wasn't created by phina i used her acc accidentally (:

2007-05-24T23:39:00.000-07:00

Create your own Friend Test here

2007-05-21T07:09:00.000-07:00

hello hello (:

yd breakfast was quite amusing. after macs we were getting back to church with our redblueyellowwhite balloons and then caught the wrong bus. i didn't even see what number it was just jumped on it and turns out it's the wrong one. not church. haha yes in the end juni me and megan walked all the way back to church. (:

i went shopping at holland v after that but it was terribly boring. ended up buying food at coldstorage instead.

today was. fun too (: ultimate frisbee is fuuuuuuuun. and then during english instead of thinking up points on why students have a life as opposed to having no lives
we started humouring ourselves and talking in stupid accents which were probably very very off but still./ so amusing and everything! alright lydia's british accent was not bad. heh

i forgot how to say where's my coconut tree? in tamil :/ next week's yf is sentosa yay (:

2007-05-19T07:33:00.000-07:00

hello

alright i haven't posted in ages. as usual
anyway life's been pretty okay. today i had a lesson as well as prayer and praise. both went fine (: heh. prayer and praise wasn't bad.

though i seem to have lost focus of important things recently and i think about silly stupid things that don't mean anything. i don't even know what i'm thinking about sometimes i can sit and stone there for an hour without knowing what i'm doing.

think i need to find myself somehow :/ i feel kind of detached from people and all of that stuff that used to really important to me. everyday's like go-through-the-motions.

wake up flag raising go to school lunch waste away the afternoon go for tuition at night come home mug for tests sleep.

and think i've changed from when i was like. begining of sec two. to begining of sec three. to middle of sec three. changed alot. maybe too much, yeah. anyhow, i don't like myself anymore. not that much anyway. that might explain why some things are the way they are.
because today at p&p i said life was better i guess. maybe that's why i can't concentrate on qt much. then i wondered if life was better after i said it. and now i don't really think so. because i can't find myself and it's hard.

and i get so lonely in this crowd

i wanna scream but make no sound

yeah i'm lost but maybe i'll be found

i've had pretty fun times too though. (: like hmm.

jubilate!

superfun (: haha pretty impressive performances there. though we only arrived at the second interval. because we took reallyreally long to actually get to NUS, everyone we asked for directions cheated us and so we hiked up and down the place for really long. heh those with heels ah. i admire them for running uphill in high high heels alot (:

took pictures and went to TCC to have supper afterwards (: though i was dying of stomach flu it was really quite fun. phina and sancia slept over and we talked alot (: haha and watched forrest gump for awhile but decided not to finish watching it, we'll finish it this friday! (: woohoo

np ystd was alright, not too bad, though i was an appalling timer. i'll never ever ever ever ever ever volunteer to be timer ever again. it was like, charmaine are you sure you know the timing? every three seconds. hahah yeah then dinner. we bought shrek ear hairbands and wore them and people thought we were crazy when they walked past (: which was quite funny.

my mom made me try on every single long-sleeved shirt we own just now. i'm going on a long long holiday this june that's why. pretty exciting i guess (: europe. i shall have to buy chocolates or some sort of souveneir back for phina and sancia and all (: why don't i just give out pictures of me in europe right heh

2007-05-08T07:50:00.000-07:00

feels like a long time since i've touched the com.
things have been okay, i guess. which is nice after like. ten thousand years of notniceness

nice things this week

#1 i did good for napfa.
#2 MSND was fun (: took strange pictures on the mrt, ran to fortcanning from ps, ate junk, sat on a picnic mat.
#3 CIP was awesome though i think not everybody enjoys flag day. i do.
#4 i got the best damned thing
#5 jubilate's going to be :D

i worship led for zjs for the first time and it wasn't that bad yeah. at least i didn't screw it up that bad (: on sunday it was my cousin's birthday so everybody was there and i made them donate to my CIP haha. and i got to talk to my cousin again and. her life's getting really amusing (:

i think some places really don't know how to play good music. first it was haagen daz. today it was coffee bean and thheir weird series of chinese-instrumental-beachparty-ish music. (: and i'm getting more blur goodness i re-did an entire prelim paper accidentally today. you tell me :/

i keep forgetting to reply messages.

self control.

2007-05-01T09:52:00.000-07:00

labour day is today (: we hardworking people went to have lunch and then rushed to rent john tucker must die and buy ben&jerry's and guavajuice and ruffles in a cab i so kindly sponsored/ after we did all our homework, that is.

and i did do all of it (: yay me. then then we went downstairs to watch john tucker and eat chunkeymonkey faster than it melts and spill pink guavaj down my shirt. haha john tucker was funnaye nonsense and johntucker is hot (: really really.

sancia: i shall lend you the dvd to watch the last part x) guess we downloaded msnd's software too fast yes! haha amusingness. and thanksmuch for the icecream :D
labourday + phina = fatts

had dinner with my entire family and it was fun :D unexpectedly so.

melo and her mysterious fish makes me feel dumb :/
i want to watch potc3 and spiderman3 (: especially potc3!
i want to pass my tests next week (:

2007-04-28T07:41:00.000-07:00

hellopeople (:

sportsday was :D because redhouse won. yeah like we haven't won since i was primaryone haha and now we have (:

though all i did on sports day was to stone at the carpark looking out if anyone's stupid enough to tumble out of their cars while getting out. needless to say no-one even slipped so yeah. didn't do much. but shift ended early (: so was alright, just sat at the balcony or whatever you call it with kc and all of them to watch races. and got caught eating orangebowl (: haha yeah.

today's msg was really good as well. alot of stuff in there that was really good heh how else to describe it but. yes it was not bad at all. so i shouldn't get infatuated with anyone from now on because that is idolatry (: and next time i'll make my husband pay all the bills hahah (:

came home to find my mother getting high on the phantom of the opera soundtrack. it was kind of amusing really. but phantom was AWESOME yeah like reallyreally it's a crime if you don't catch it (: so damned good that show (: wish i could go watch it again but. it costs like a hundred bucks ohwell.

today was a goodday (:

tagreplies:

sancia: haha right right you knew how to make it (: standing in line at macs to get a papernapkin somemore hmm.

zac: yeah i think it's an appalling name too. haha and thankyou for doing what i asked today (:

phina: but i don't like charchew :/ how do you like phinafung. (:

2007-04-25T05:58:00.000-07:00

And I can always find her

At the bottom of a plastic cup

Drowning in drunk sincerity

A Sad and lonely girl

i feel strangely miserable in spite of the thunderstorm and i love the rain.
i feel strangely miserable at nothing since friday the thirteenth.
i must have issues.
haagen daz has awful loud, loud music so don't ever try to do your coordinate geometry at the place. haagen daz has nice icecream (: and prata.
the stuff at esplanade is awesome (:
sancia doesn't know how to make paomian.
sancia learnt how to make paomian heh.

i like gloraijean'scoffees food.
i like phina's topshop ______ ALOT that luckygirl (:
i wish i had perfect eyesight.
i wish i didn't fall asleep in class so easily.
i wish i tried harder at chinese and got an A for my test.
i wish i didn't bitch so much sometimes.
i wish i had enough self-discipline to do the right stuff.

i wish i'll just be char, and not chewy or chewness or charchew.
i love my surname, but not that much.
sam'll just be sam, and not sam the man.
my friends like to be creative at notcorrect times haha.

i wish i'd not went to read someone's blog.
now all i do is go back there. and then get annoyed for nothing.

i wish i'd get off the com to study chemistry.

and she said

I think we're running out of alcohol

and tonight I hate this town

And all my best friends will be the death for me

'Cause they will never remember, remember

2007-04-21T08:42:00.000-07:00

today is awesoooommmme (:

unit games went well enough. lunch was amusing, to say the least. sports attire, anyone? haha and there was that. i love you my swit cutie choco covered itsy bitsy tinywiny -all that crap- issac. HAHAH i wonder which strange person would declare her love in public in that manner. i wonder which person would date someone who talks like that.

i know where melo gets all her nonsense from. HER DAD. yeah man, he just goes on and on about practically nothing just like his duaghter does. haha pinching equals to mental disorder (: and. i don't kick dogs. melo's a hugehugenonsensicaltalkscrap person, and it turns out her dad's a pro-animal activist, so yeah. hahah

yf was good. like, really really good. like, really really really good. good enough for me to do some things i wouldn't have done this morning, even (: yeah, though julia got quite scary with her strange behaviour. the earrings were so pretty too. tsk sam missed the awesomelifechanging workshop :/ for econs! haha zacteo looked ever so pretty in scout uniform (:

dinner was (: junyan is an awesome cousin and we took spastic pictures (x

finally got to see candice online after like. a million years of not seeing her online? (: and got to catch up with fairli.

thank God for everything that's today (:

2007-04-18T07:20:00.000-07:00

itunes just died on me. so irritating.

today was a malu day; never had more stupid moments in a day before. though yes, it was fun as well. almost accidentally walked into the guys' toilet and yeah, it was kinda amusing so. one second after we started laughing there was an announcement at reminding us to keep quiet in libraries (:

then. screwed up at the mrt, screwed up at tennis, itunes screwed me up. ohwell, at least the geog test wasn't too bad. enough about these things. monotonous and routine

never knew my fellowtennispeople talked so much. suddenly i'm enlightened about just how much of an idiot the principal of french international school can be. apparently he stays in school premises and. students can watch him watching tv in his pajamas. amusing much? and if he catches them seeing him in his pjs, he puts them in detention. detention's quite cool there. i'm not surprised ryan spends half his life in there.

yeahyeah think i've been reading too much of storybooks. alright i've read only one. but the notebook is so. <3 lovely would be the right word. and makes me hope and pray i'll have as awesome a husband. or something.

self control is the word for me. schoolwork and other things. the other things get me down, each and every day without fail. heh i think i sound so sorry for myself tonight.

i have frikkin issues.

but there are the nice little things that make it not so bad (: that i guess i should be grateful for! i'm really really crapping right now. think i need to vent or something. wonder who even reads this nonsense, perhaps an eventual removal of the tagboard might be nice.

damn. think i need something to keep me busy. something that's not related to academics. should reallyreally go out. do some once-a-month thing so i'll have motivation of some sort. how else will i keep up with sancia if we don't do once-a-month things. when the syfs end as well.

then maybe i won't feel so deprived and bored out of my mind.

2007-04-17T08:27:00.000-07:00

i had a good saturday
good sunday
good monday

lousy tuesday. my dad took off to goodness-knows-where. my grandmother's sick. i'm frikkin staying up late to study rivers. and to read up on the bio so i'll be able to answer praveena's hardhard questions tomorrow. right after i'm back from three hours of physics?

but today wasn't bad either. happy birthday phina <3 i do love you you know (: though i left early. today was still not bad at all (:

well, time to hit the books. i can just see myself sleeping my way through the lessons, how wonderful yeah (:

2007-04-11T06:26:00.000-07:00

today was supposed to be a good day

except i had to go screw up my physics test. i got one mcq right out of the entire paper or something.

other than that it was pretty gooooood. happy birthday melo :D

Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money

Boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny

And these girls like these boys like these boys like these girls

The girls with the bodies like boys with Ferraris

All of these boys, yeah and all of these girls

Losing their souls in a material world