Saturday, June 28, 2008 @ 11:17 PM
teehee we have like, an Identical Issue. I'm tired
Cynical and broken, but wiser
Heavy with a sense of resentment,
but i used to be so much different,
I used to have so much faith
The focus on the friends and the feelings
That made those stupid songs all worth singing
And don't you say a word
unless you're pretty sure that you want it analyzed
and I realized in time
that it didn't mean anything
Never,
not ever again
Not like that
"It's only a matter of time".
i wonder what it would be like, if i just threw away this life i'm leading right now,
i think i'd feel so much better about myself, and not regret wasting my saturdays on things that Don't Matter One Bit.
today i asked myself, why the hell am i putting myself through this, when it's so tiring and ever so pretentious, i'm still trying to get over the incredulity of it all. &, the irony.
i can't change anybody, or anything. i can only make it better for myself, (&what is it to anybody what i'm doing with my life, anyway.)
and, i will. it's only a matter of time.
time to let go, and i doubt there'll be anything left to say. how can you be afraid of losing something you're not sure even existed?
what's wrong, and what's right?
i don't even know anymore. what's it like, to get wasted and high every night, only to say you're sorry and ask for forgiveness after you've had your fun?
this sounds so, shallow, i know, and even as you(like, whoever you are, idk) read this i'm sure you're making your own judgements and so let me ask you, what makes you think you're so right about things and what makes you so sure you're better, or more righteous, than the rest?
i wonder why i was trying so hard, and why i'm still figuring out if i'm sick of trying yet.
i wonder why you're trying so hard, what are you trying to prove?